


Little Dreamer- Draco Malfoy

by Bwnnii



Category: Draco Malfoy - Fandom, Harry Potter - Fandom, Lucius Malfoy - Fandom, narcissa malfoy - Fandom
Genre: Adult Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy & Pansy Parkinson Friendship, Good Draco Malfoy, Good Parent Narcissa Black Malfoy, Harry Potter References, Other, POV Draco Malfoy, POV Ginny Weasley, POV Ron Weasley, POV Tom Riddle, POV Voldemort (Harry Potter), Redeemed Draco Malfoy, Supportive Narcissa Black Malfoy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:48:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26983147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bwnnii/pseuds/Bwnnii
Summary: Its been over a year since the battle of Hogwarts, but the horrors keep Draco awake at night. He has always struggled with events that took place. That was until he met a bright young witch named Harlow.Can Harlow help Draco come to terms with his past? Will Draco ever forgive himself for the role he played as a death eater?
Relationships: Draco Malfoy & Original Character(s), Draco Malfoy & Original Female Character(s), Draco Malfoy/Other(s)
Kudos: 4





	Little Dreamer- Draco Malfoy

_The cold embrace of The Dark Lord made him shudder. Draco’s eyes filled with tears. It felt as though all the colour in the world was gone, as though he had no choice but to do what was expected of him. All he wanted was to run back and join his teachers and classmates to show where his loyalty truly lay. He walked slowly to join his parents, his mother taking his hand and holding it tight. A villainous laugh filled the destroyed courtyard. He held back the urge to scream, to run far away to safety. All Draco could hear now was the sound of his own heart pounding in his chest. His breathing became rapid, sweat shining on his forehead. The sight of The Dark Lord made his stomach churn, he instilled a fear in Draco that he had never felt before. A fear so great, Draco dared not to look him in the eyes. His gaze drifted towards Hagrid, who was holding Harry’s seemingly lifeless body. He could tell the giant had been crying, something Draco himself was holding back from. Draco then found himself looking at his own shoes, thinking of a getaway plan. He could run into the Forbidden Forest and never be found, grow old there and start a new life. But he didn’t want to spend his life in hiding, what he really wanted was to feel safe and secure, to go home with his parents and pretend none of this ever happened. The Dark Lord let out another cackle, bringing Draco out of his thoughts and back to reality. His breathing became rapid again as he tried to remain calm, but this time he couldn’t . He watched as Harry threw himself out of Hagrid’s arms and the-_

Draco wakes up in a cold sweat, panting breathlessly over fear his nightmare was somehow real. 'Count 3 green things in your room.' Draco thought to himself. He slowed his breathing as he started to count. He hadn’t had a peaceful night's sleep in over a year. Though he longs for good dreams, he’s ultimately left with nightmares. He continues to do some breathing exercises before sitting up in his bed and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Climbing out of bed, he makes his way to the kitchen. 

"Good morning Draco" Narcissa says sweetly to her son. Draco grunts in response, in no mood to talk. A small, rather ugly house elf makes Draco his coffee while the other elves start setting the table for breakfast. “Won’t you join me for breakfast dear?” His mother says. Draco shakes his head in response, not looking at her. He takes the mug of coffee from the creature, ignoring the feast on the table and begins making his way outside to the large oak tree in his backyard.

He places his right hand and forehead against the tree trunk, taking a deep breath in. Draco begins to mumble an enchantment which opens a small door, where he keeps his journal.

Making himself comfortable under the tree, he takes a sip of coffee, staring at the clouds overhead. Draco often spends a lot of time alone, because he prefers it that way. He’s spent too many years trying to gain approval of those around him, but when he was alone he could be himself. When he’s alone he feels secure with himself. Not safe per say, but secure, and that’s an improvement in his eyes. He takes another sip of coffee and sighs before opening his journal. 

Draco debates against actually writing anything. Although he has a tough exterior, he is a sensitive person. His journal is the only way he expresses such vulnerability, but even so, he holds back how he truly feels. It’s as though the empty pages of the book judge him. Even an inanimate object such as his journal isn’t allowed to know his thoughts and feelings. Only Draco, and Draco alone can know. 

Opening the ink pot, he begins to write about his nightmare.

  
_Dreamt of it again. I suspected I would, I have every night since it happened. The Dark Lord was there of course. All my dreams center around him now and what I could have done differently. I want to avoid sleeping at all costs. I don’t want to dream again._

Since the Battle of Hogwarts, he hadn’t dreamt of anything else. He feels guilt about his part in everything. He feels resentment towards his father for the role he played. He wishes his classmates only knew how conflicted he felt about everything. How if he could go back, he would change everything. But he had no choice. He was given a path to follow in life by his father and if he didn't follow, the consequences would be dire.

Draco hesitates, wondering if he should continue writing, but decides it’s enough for today. His journal entries are generally no longer than a few sentences each, avoiding anything too personal. He puts his things back into the tree trunk and walks back into his house with his empty coffee cup. He passes the mug to another house elf without making eye contact. 

Draco walks upstairs to his bedroom and stands in the doorway, examining his possessions. In the corner of his bedroom his Nimbus 2001 is displayed in a glass case. He carefully lifts the lid, running his fingertips along the broom handle and a smile crosses his lips. He used to love quidditch, had a huge passion for the game, but lost interest in his sixth year at Hogwarts. His smile quickly fades into a blank expression.

He places the lid back onto the display case and turns to his cauldrons. Tracing the rim of one of the cauldrons, he begins to think back to his school days. His parents being extremely wealthy, Draco always had the best of everything. Whatever he asked for, he got. Life seemed a little simpler when he was in school. All he had to worry about were his grades and impressing his friends. Now though, he has much more to deal with day to day. With a small sigh, Draco grabs a book off of his shelf and makes his way to the bathroom.

He enters the bathroom to see a warm bath waiting for him. He slowly undresses himself, careful not to look at the mark on his left wrist. A nasty reminder of his past, he hates seeing it and often makes an effort to forget it exists. He stares into the mirror above the basin, struggling to recognise his reflection. 

Sinking into the hot water, Draco opens up his Alchemy book and begins to read. He had always been interested in Alchemy and decided to study it full time after Hogwarts. It keeps him distracted from the horrors of his past.

The water begins to go cold after a while, so Draco lazily climbs out of the bath, dresses himself, and styles his platinum blond hair in the same fashion he had been for years. Part of Draco wishes he could dye it all black, completely changing his appearance as a way of reassuring himself that he is not the same boy he was years ago. He shakes his head at the thought, he can’t run away from his past, he has to accept everything eventually. Afterall, he was making an effort to change and grow as a person. 

"Draco darling, would you like to join me today? I'll be going to Diagon Alley shortly." Narcissa's gentle voice calls up to him, interrupting his daydreaming. Draco takes a moment to think before responding.  
"Yes mother, I'll join you." He walks down the stairs to accompany Narcissa. Draco avoids her gaze as he enters the living room. He often struggles to keep eye contact with her now. When he looks at her, he sees the pain and suffering hiding behind her smile. She is not the same person now that his father is gone, and it hurts Draco more than he lets on. Grabbing Narcissa’s arm, Draco fixes his tie before apparating, arriving at The Leaky Cauldron.

Dusting himself off, Draco enters the dark building, holding the door open for Narcissa. The smell of shepherd’s pie and butterbeer fills the room, the fireplace in the corner of the room crackling loudly as the other witches and wizards begin to whisper. It feels as though all eyes are on him, and so Draco quickly takes a seat at an empty table. 

“I’m meeting with some very important people from the Ministry today darling. You’re free to explore Diagon Alley if you’d prefer.” Narcissa says, taking a seat across from Draco.  
“Who are you meeting with? And what’s this meeting about exactly?” He scowls. Narcissa and Draco don’t often meet with others since the war, especially not anyone from the Ministry. The thought of seeing those responsible for his father’s imprisonment made Draco feel anxious, as well as enraged. 

“It’s nothing that concerns you, my dear. Why don’t you get something to eat and have a look around?” Narcissa says, cupping her son's face. Draco’s eyes flicker up to meet his mother’s. He would rather stay and accompany her in case anything were to happen, but his stomach is in knots at the thought.  
“I’m not hungry.” He replies and leaves the table, heading towards the back exit of The Leaky Cauldron, entering Diagon Alley.


End file.
